Are You Ready for This?

by Dani Mc Mahon

So as you may have noticed, my posts here at The Overleaf have been pretty scarce of late. I could start reaming off excuses as to why but in the interest of honesty I will be frank with you. Of late I have been feeling less than motivated. The last couple of months have seen many changes take place as I try to find where my passions truly lie. After careful consideration I have decided to return to my blog and I think the best way to get myself back up and running is to set myself a little challenge, so here goes...are you ready for this? 

30 Day Writing Challenge

Day One: Discuss your current relationship...

Wow, talk about a deep and meaningful topic to start! Okay so, anyone who knows anything about me will know that I am happily married and have been since August 2013. I married the love of my life in Mexico City on a beautiful Friday afternoon, a day I will remember for eternity as the happiest of my life. My wife is Mexican and we have been together for almost six years. 

At the beginning our relationship was one which required a lot of organisation and dedication, like all relationships I suppose but ours was long distance to boot. Living on different continents was really tough and there were plenty of tears each time we had to say goodbye and live apart. However, we fought hard and despite all the obstacles placed in front of us we made it work, we both knew that our love was worth it and that we had each found our soul mate. So it was that I found myself on a plane to Mexico in 2011, where I lived with J for two and a half years before returning to the Emerald Isle in search of brighter horizons. We now live here in Ireland, by the sea and we love it!

People are constantly giving out about marriage and giving it a bad name as a result. When you mention marriage these days you are met with less than enthusiastic faces. You are usually than fed the statistics relating to divorce and an opinion about how marriage is an antiquated institution which does no promote equality between the sexes. A few years ago I would have agreed. Then I met J. 

I think a lot of people let the label of being married really affect their relationship, I can safely say that since getting married nothing has changed for us, you do not love the person differently or value your relationship any more or less just because you signed a piece of paper, you continue to live and love just as you did before you donned a white dress and said 'I do' in front of a judge and a cat. 

I am happy to say that I married my best friend, we go on dates, we laugh until we cry, we laze about in pyjamas watching FRIENDS, we cook, we clean, we travel, we live life together and that is the most beautiful experience. 

P.S: Stay tuned in the coming days, I will explain all about the judge and the cat :)

So I don't look like a lesbian? Three things you should never say to a lesbian...

As an LGBT person in this world, coming out is a recurring factor and something which you grow used to with time. Every time you move school, start a course, a new job or simply meet somebody new, you will eventually have to come out all over again.

This really does get easier as time goes on and you start to recognise the body language and gauge the reactions of your audience. Let's have a look at a few, shall we?

1. The Over-Enthusiastic Questioner:

This is a rare one but the minute you say 'I’m a lesbian' or my personal favourite 'my husband is actually my wife' they smile over-enthusiastically and laugh into one hundred and one questions about your lives together and what your other half does in life. These people try to hide it but the surprise of your sexuality has created a nervous reaction and they start to question, incessantly.

2. The Glazer:

This person was not at all prepared for your coming out and really needs to let it sink in, once you have spoken those revealing words they immediately change the subject or ask you what you had for dinner last night. They are not ready to ask any questions and need time to process. (Don't worry, they usually come around.)

3 The Amazed and Bemused:

This will always and has always been my favourite; it is actually this reaction which inspired this entry. The amazed and bemused is usually that person who lets sensitivity and common sense soar out the window as soon as your rainbow flag is flying. This person has usually started by asking if you have a boyfriend, your answer (if you are that way inclined) is usually 'No, I’m a lesbian'. This person lets it register for a split second and then comes out with the greatest one-liner of all time....

'Oh, but you don't look like one.'

This leads to you giggling because it’s so awkward you just want to vanish and they follow up with this gem...

'Your partner is obviously the man is she?'

At this point your hand is already in your pocket reaching for your phone to show them your partner, as you of course continue to giggle like a bloody school girl which really just adds to the awkward hilarity of the situation.

Having produced a picture, (my go to is our wedding picture, in which we both are wearing our wedding dresses with out hair and make-up done, looking pretty damn gorgeous) your amazed and bemused friend now looks like nothing in the world will ever make sense again.

I tell these stories from personal experience; I most recently had a number three experience while giving an art class. It was totally hilarious, on this occasion, but also made me realise that it was not the first time my coming out had been met with this type of reaction. As a result I have made a little poster of what not to say to a Lesbian when you meet one. Print this off, save it to your phone or simply memorise it so we can avoid situations, like the above from:

a) ever happening  

b) being unmercifully awkward.

Dani Mount

Ireland Says YES!

The reality of what we, as a nation, did on Friday May 22nd really hasn't quite hit home for me just yet. There was such a huge build up to the referendum, so many statuses, so many conversations, so many dedicated people and so much effort, that seeing the country come out in support of a Yes vote on Friday still feels like something from a dream.


This video sums up what we did, this video shows the world that we are a nation which recognises love and family, irrespective of gender.
I hope that this is the start of a new Ireland, an inclusive and happier place. Where being LGBT will no longer be taboo, or something to feel ashamed of, where we are all free to love who we love and have that love recognised.


I hope that this amazing display of unity will continue within our country for generations to come and that finally we can all move forward, hand in hand, walking on common ground, towards a better and brighter future!! <3


https://youtu.be/9X_Xl6kCUUI

#YesEquality

by Danielle Mc Mahon

Last weekend my wife and I attended the launch of Amnesty International's 'Let's make history, vote yes' campaign in Dublin City. This campaign has been launched in support of the upcoming referendum here in Ireland  in which the citizens of this little country will have the option to vote Yes or No for marriage equality.
As it stands homosexual couples in Ireland can be legally recognised through civil partnership but not civil marriage.
I realise that for many people this may not be a big deal but for the homosexual community it is. This is just one more thing which tries to set us apart, which tries to brand us as being different, which discriminates against us and our human rights, in a legal fashion.
Standing in front of the GPO on Dublin's O'Connell street surrounded by people from all walks of life I felt safe. I kissed my wife, held her hand and enjoyed the moment. In the past number of weeks we have been shouted at in quite an aggressive manner whilst holding hands as we walk down the street. This is not okay. Being verbally abused in any situation, regardless of sexual orientation, gender, race, is not okay, it is frightening and frustrating.
Since Sunday I have been thinking about this referendum constantly. I have been reading all of the news, following all the news feeds across social media and starting the conversation with family, friends and colleagues about the upcoming referendum.
Yesterday as I took my break at work I sat down with my coffee and flicked through the newspaper. The following headline caught my attention immediately; 'I am a liberal but I will be voting No in referendum'. Already annoyed by the contradiction in the headline I read on. I am almost certain that any of my colleagues who saw me reading must have thought I was loosing my mind. I shook my head, tutted and laughed at the idiocy of the article. This article is one of hypocrisy, the writer claims to be a liberal and avid supporter of women's rights and those of 'the gays'. I am sorry, Sir but any body who supports 'the gays', as you so flippantly put it, would not even contemplate coming out and voting No for marriage equality in May. If you are such a supporter of ours, but cannot get your narrow mind around the difference between civil marriage and partnership, stay home, do not vote.
An excellent point was made last Sunday, those who are voting No in the referendum will come out to vote. For those who are voting Yes there is no room to be complacent, do not sit back and think 'Oh sure everybody else is voting Yes, I don't need to go'. You absolutely do, every single person who is ready to stand up and say Yes to equality for all Irish citizens needs to get up and go to vote on May 22nd.
I will be voting Yes not just for myself but for future generations. My wife and I hope to start a family in the future and it saddens me to think that at this moment in time I could not even contemplate raising my children in this country. This saddens my greatly as I love the Irish culture, the language, the beauty of this Emerald Isle, but I would not feel accepted or recognised as a family in my own country as this point in time. I hope that a Yes vote in May will help Ireland take the step in the right direction that it so desperately needs to take. This referendum is not just about marriage equality, it is about human rights, it is about protecting all of Ireland's citizens and putting an end to discrimination and inequality.
I am hoping that my family and friends will join me on May 22nd 2015 and vote Yes, this refernedum represents so much for so many, for me it is representing hope, the hope that finally my wife and I will be accepted and legaly recognised in this country.

Have a Little Character!

By Danielle Mc Mahon

I am a character person, from books to movies, television shows to phone calls, to everyday acquaintances, I love characters.
For me the most important part of any story are the characters. When I read a book or watch something on the silver screen I become completely attached to the people around whom the story is centred.
This applies for television shows also, it has been a more than common experience in the past number of years to find me in floods of tears staring at my computer because something traumatic is happening to my favourite characters on a television show.
About a month ago I was heartbroken when I finished reading an amazing book, I had become so involved with the characters and their lives that I was devastated when I read the last word and realised that I would never hear how the rest of the story played out.
Last weekend we started watching a relatively new series, I had seen trailers for it and different fan videos but I really wasn't sure if I would like it as it is set in a women's prison and I guess I'm just not that tough. Despite this we decided to delve in and take a chance. The chance paid off and the delve was worth it. In seven days we watched a total of twenty-five episodes and today I found myself at a loose end, devastated by the fact that there would be no new episode until June!
The characters in this show are amazing, even-though they are criminals you want to be their best friend, when you are having a bad day at work their portrayal of being in jail makes you actually think about whether it is really all that bad, which is a pretty powerful affect to have over an audience!
It is not only the characters as individuals which draw you in, but the cliques. The roles are played so well that you can actually picture which clique you would belong to, how you would manage to survive, how you would relate to all of these women, something which is hard to do if the characters are not written and played well.
Over the past couple of weeks the idea of characters, how they are created and why, has become something pretty central to my thought pattern. Aren't we really all just trying to create our own characters? Everyday we dress and behave a certain way, we make conscious decisions about how we appear to others, we choose what to speak about and how these themes reflect on us and how we are perceived by others as a result.
So what happens when you have created a character which is not really you? It is not as simple as deleting a paragraph in your word document, or asking the director and costume designer to change the attitude and appearance of the actress or actor who is playing the role. How do you fix what you yourself have created in your own real life situation? Do you get a haircut, go on a shopping spree? What about the rest? How do you take a step back, re-imagine and recreate a character when the character is you?

A Bucket of Truth

By Danielle Mc Mahon

As I sit here on a Friday night with writers block I throw the question out to the room; 'Give me a blog topic'
The topic returned to me is one which has been very prominent in the past week, 'Why do people have to be challenged to make a donation to charity?' The question is posed by my youngest brother, one of the odd balls, like myself who refused to do the ice bucket challenge.
For the past week every time I log on to facebook dozens of ice bucket challenge videos begin to automatically play.
I am not going to lie I watched a couple, like the girl who almost knocked herself out running into her clothes line, the many fellas who took the challenge in 'mankinis' and the hilarious middle aged women who thought the cold was going to kill them, or even, god-forbid, ruin their hair (very cynical and sarcastic of me I know!)
I was nominated to take the challenge and from the very first day I refused, not because I hate to have water thrown at me or because I am worried about my hair but because I agree with my brother that it should not be necessary to set a challenge in order to get people to donate.
I have often donated to charity and I think that charitable work is extremely necessary in a world like ours where the government takes so much and gives so little but I feel that things like the no make-up selfie and the ice bucket challenge start to become less and less about the charity as the trend catches on.
I also find it difficult to watch thousands of people wasting water for "charity" when there are so many people begging for clean drinking water in third world countries every day.
Don't get me wrong, I have my first world moments when trivial and material things take over but I keep it to myself. I appreciate the fact that people are donating when they do the challenge and that it is a fun way to get every body involved but I also think it takes away from the topic, that it takes away from the actual charity and what it is all about and that it results in people losing sight of the reason behind it all.
I did not write this blog to start a riot or to offend anybody who did take the ice bucket challenge but to make my point and to perhaps give a bit of insight into why I did not do it myself.

'But first, let me take a selfie!'

By Danielle Mc Mahon

I have been very quiet over the past couple of weeks. I did not have anything particularly interesting to say so I decided not to say anything at all.
Since I was last here, I purchased a new phone. This new phone, the Galaxy S III Mini, has something that my previous smart phone did not have, a front facing camera.
This weekend was a weekend for taking pictures, as we celebrated my wife's birthday, and every time I opened the camera application to take a picture I jumped a little and then laughed as I found myself staring back at me. I am not joking when I say that I find this front facing camera a little unnerving at times! Don't get me wrong, I took a few selfies, you know, just to check the camera was working properly, but I am not sure if I will ever be a fanatical selfie taker.
This weekend no-make-up-selfies took the social networks by storm. The girls showed their bare faces and the guys slapped on a flick of mascara and a splash of lipstick. I have to say some of the guys appearing on my news feed wore the make up well, some better than female counterparts.
On this occasion the selfie has served a very important purpose, raising money for cancer research, but what about the rest of the time? What is the point of a selfie? If you are sitting at home in your bedroom, doing absolutely nothing with the headboard of your bed in the background why would you take a selfie or twenty and post them to facebook? Have people really become so self obsessed?
I logged on to my facebook one evening last week and my news feed was full of selfie pictures and videos, and none of them had anything to do with cancer research, I scrolled down trying to catch any news which may have been swallowed by the tsunami of selfie material which I was finding it difficult to escape from. When I clicked in to see what some of these selfie videos were bout I cringed a little bit feeling embarrassed for the person who had posted them.
I realise that today we have all become addicted to posting statuses on facebook or tweeting every move we make, but have we gone to far? Have we taken sharing to a whole new level with all of these selfie pictures and videos? I feel as though unbeknownst to ourselves we are willing entering in to a state of big brother- like living. We are all watching each other I am not referring to the normal pictures of days out or birthdays or indeed gatherings with family and friends, I am referring to the seflies, to the videos, I feel as though there is not such thing as privacy anymore and some people are more open to that than others.
So where is this seflie craze taking us? Will it suddenly die off or will it get worse, to the point that we really are living in a big brother scenario, now there is a frightening thought...