As an LGBT person in this world, coming out is a recurring factor
and something which you grow used to with time. Every time you move school,
start a course, a new job or simply meet somebody new, you will eventually have
to come out all over again.
This really does get easier as time goes
on and you start to recognise the body language and gauge the reactions of your
audience. Let's have a look at a few, shall we?
1. The Over-Enthusiastic Questioner:
This is a rare one but the minute you say
'I’m a lesbian' or my personal favourite 'my husband is actually my wife' they
smile over-enthusiastically and laugh into one hundred and one questions about
your lives together and what your other half does in life. These people try to
hide it but the surprise of your sexuality has created a nervous reaction and
they start to question, incessantly.
2. The Glazer:
This person was not at all prepared for
your coming out and really needs to let it sink in, once you have spoken those revealing
words they immediately change the subject or ask you what you had for dinner
last night. They are not ready to ask any questions and need time to process.
(Don't worry, they usually come around.)
3 The Amazed and Bemused:
This will always and has always been my favourite;
it is actually this reaction which inspired this entry. The amazed and bemused
is usually that person who lets sensitivity and common sense soar out the
window as soon as your rainbow flag is flying. This person has usually started
by asking if you have a boyfriend, your answer (if you are that way inclined)
is usually 'No, I’m a lesbian'. This
person lets it register for a split second and then comes out with the greatest
one-liner of all time....
'Oh, but you don't look like
one.'
This leads to you giggling because it’s so
awkward you just want to vanish and they follow up with this gem...
'Your partner is obviously
the man is she?'
At this point your hand is already in your
pocket reaching for your phone to show them your partner, as you of course
continue to giggle like a bloody school girl which really just adds to the awkward
hilarity of the situation.
Having produced a picture, (my go to is
our wedding picture, in which we both are wearing our wedding dresses with out
hair and make-up done, looking pretty damn gorgeous) your amazed and bemused
friend now looks like nothing in the world will ever make sense again.
I tell these stories from personal experience;
I most recently had a number three experience while giving an art class. It was
totally hilarious, on this occasion, but also made me realise that it was not
the first time my coming out had been met with this type of reaction. As a result
I have made a little poster of what not to say to a Lesbian when you meet one. Print
this off, save it to your phone or simply memorise it so we can avoid situations,
like the above from:
a) ever happening
b) being unmercifully awkward.
Dani Mount
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