I have totally abandoned all things technological and literary in the past few days as I have been struggling with the idea of being home and unemployed. I know this is the story of many people of my age as my generation are struggling with the reality of graduating from University and really being qualified to do nothing. Having being employed for the past two years or so I think this transition from useful to useless has been particularly difficult.
Yesterday after a quiet Halloween night in gossiping and baking, I had a rather frank conversation with one of my best friends in Mexico, a straight talking, sensible yet adventurous girl who has an excellent head on her shoulders and tells you what you need to hear, not what you need to hear. This conversation lifted my spirits and made me realise what I have been afraid to admit, perhaps I am home but feel as though home is no longer just that, home. I had created my own home just J and I and suddenly I am under my mother's roof living in a world which I had left behind.
After this conversation as I walked past a beautiful Cathedral in the middle of the city I decided to enter. Anybody who knows me will realise that the thought of me setting foot inside a church is enough to make the heavens scream, as I am a total non-believer. However, having said that, I have always found churches to be beautiful and serene places, a safe haven in a crazy world, it is almost as if it offers you shelter from everything which is happening around you as the silence embraces you.
I entered the cathedral and looked around at the devoted few who were praying rosaries or just praying out of their necessity to feel close to something. Seeing all these people and feeling the atmosphere of the church around me with the added element of the absolute silence, I suddenly began to feel emotional and I really cannot explain why.
I walked slowly and silently to the candles, candles which had been ignited by the hopes of different people. These candles are so weighed down with symbolism that their light seems to penetrate all of your feelings and have a mesmerising effect on you. I suddenly found myself reaching for one of those little white candles and lighting it with tears in my eyes. I stood for a couple of minutes and watched as the flame of the candle gathered momentum and was eventually lighting, fuelled by my hopes and my needs. I began to think about so many things as a traffic jam formed in my mind. The thoughts whirled, firstly memories of lighting candles for special causes with my Gran, secondly going to church with my Grandfather (RIP) and then a whole slew of feelings and thoughts relating to myself, to J, and to our situation and how much I am longing for it to get better. I found myself drawn into the flame as it hypnotised me.
I finally managed to break the spell and wander back out into the city, onto the streets so full of noise, of people and so many other things.
I felt relieved leaving the Church as I felt that I had now exhausted all possibilities, I had entered a place of worship to seek help from a Church which openly condemns my lifestyle, but never the less those few minuets of clarity were so comforting and in that moment all I had were my hopes and expectations and I was me, by myself with my flickering light. For those couple of minutes I was not being judged or watched or talked about or observed. I was just me with a handful of hopes in my pockets and a bright hopeful light in the middle of a big city.
DM
Saturday 2 November 2013
Tuesday 23 July 2013
The Winds of Change
My, my, my, what a weekend it has been, emotional roller coasters, great news, big decisions.
I will start with the world news first admitting that I was actually quite excited to hear about the birth of the Royal Child, a bouncing baby boy 8lbs 6oz, according to an announcement placed outside Buckingham Palace both mother and baby are doing well. I suppose the next thing to obsess over with be the baby's name and of course the first pictures. I actual found myself wondering, whilst I was reading about the crowds of people camped outside the Maternity hospital, what kind of life this little person if going to have. I know there have been royal children born before and tehy all survived but I feel that maybe with social media and the fact that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have become an iconic couple, this child will be more in the spotlight than any royal child before him. Nevertheless and wish the new parents and their baby boy all the best in life and I hope that our gossip hungry society does not make it too difficult for them.
This weekend was quite an emotional one as the prospect of once again living in a long distance relationship became quite likely. Needless to say the emotions which were flying about were ones of despair, sadness and anxiety but they have now all be swept away due t the arrival of the happy news that 'amor a distancia' was not going to be an option! Extremely excited now for our return to my island to experience life together from a different perspective and with different surroundings.
This are really wrapping up now, classes have finished, final exams have been done, final presentations presented and flights are in the process of being booked, the biggest and most exciting thing left to do is walking down the isle and signing that precious piece of paper that will join us together forever.
This experience of living and working abroad has been one I will never forget and always cherish, I feel it changed me so much and although there were some difficult times I benefited me so much. I met some many amazing people and experienced so many of the amazing things that this country has to offer and now it is time to hop on a plane and return to my home land and experience all that it has to offer.
D.Mount
Monday 3 June 2013
The City of Freedom
The majestic feeling as you wander throughout the streets, one more face to add to the millions. Nobody notices your differences, your similarities, no body cares who you are, who you are with, who you love. A city where a billion names are spoken each day and yours could be ignored, a city where freedom of expression and of speech are things which are taken seriously, and given to its inhabitants willingly. You do not have to fight to be heard here, when people want to listen they will, you do not have to hide who you are either people appreciated your choice to be free.
The clouds in the sky offer a soft and welcome release from the hot sunshine we live beneath here. The showers of rain, which cool the Earth, are drops of divinity rarely found here in the desert. The tall buildings provide you with the shade you need to walk in peace and coolness, enjoying the immense sights of Mexican culture and history as it buzzes all around you.
The heart of the city beats as strongly as ever full of vibrant characters and life, reenactments of traditions long passed come back to revitalise this hub of culture and liveliness. The omen of the gods falls upon the city now as it begins its slow descent into the ground, superstition and belief provide a background for this mythology as the work of the Spanish withers and slips away.
The joy of arriving to such a place if only for a few days, is liberating in ways that you cannot possibly imagine, the freedom to dress how you like and have nobody care, the ability to hold the hand of your same sex partner and be smiled at as opposed to receiving a hurtful glares. It is these simple things that make this ever growing hub of life, the capital of this fair country, and why it creates a love in your heart that you cannot dismiss.
The clouds in the sky offer a soft and welcome release from the hot sunshine we live beneath here. The showers of rain, which cool the Earth, are drops of divinity rarely found here in the desert. The tall buildings provide you with the shade you need to walk in peace and coolness, enjoying the immense sights of Mexican culture and history as it buzzes all around you.
The heart of the city beats as strongly as ever full of vibrant characters and life, reenactments of traditions long passed come back to revitalise this hub of culture and liveliness. The omen of the gods falls upon the city now as it begins its slow descent into the ground, superstition and belief provide a background for this mythology as the work of the Spanish withers and slips away.
The joy of arriving to such a place if only for a few days, is liberating in ways that you cannot possibly imagine, the freedom to dress how you like and have nobody care, the ability to hold the hand of your same sex partner and be smiled at as opposed to receiving a hurtful glares. It is these simple things that make this ever growing hub of life, the capital of this fair country, and why it creates a love in your heart that you cannot dismiss.
Thursday 14 March 2013
One, Two, Three....POPE!!!
When Emeritus Pope Benedict announced the fact that he would be denouncing his title as Pope of the Catholic Church, I heard many people talking about their hopes that the conclave would perhaps elect a young pope to bring some life back into the church and inspire the younger generations to return to god and to their religion.
I am not a religious person whatsoever and I really have little regard for the pope and his duties and I find the church to be an antiquated institution that shot itself in the foot by maintaining its archaic ideals and ridiculous social expectations and limitations alike.
Having said that I respect the choice of people to believe in the church and to have faith in its powers and in the power of their faith also. I also appreciate their hope and the ideas that they have expressed about wanting to rejuvenate the church and bring the younger generations back to their faith. Although a respect these ideas and hopes I must say that I also find them very naive. Nowadays it is difficult to get younger generations to be passionate about one topic in particular, it is also difficult to preach to a generation which has been brought up differently, who have more freedom than ever before, more access to the world and more possibilities than ever before.
I am going t talk about two areas in particular, the first the idea of gay-marriage and the church's negative stance on the matter.
Speaking from the point of view of a lesbian woman in her twenties I am obviously a little more than biased, however I think it is fair to say that the majority of young people that I know have family members, best friends, co-workers who are gay and who they care about a lot. I find it hard t believe that the church, even with its best efforts could persuade a generation , where the ideas of self - expression, freedom of speech, freedom to think, freedom to just be are so plentiful, that an institution with a reputation as tarred as that of the catholic church to come back to a religion that goes against the ideas that have developed. The church is effectively asking people to take a step backwards to forget about human rights and equality no matter what your sex and go back in time to a place where these things where forbidden, where society was on lock-down, they are asking that the struggles of thousands be forgotten and cast back into a dark space in the corner of your mind as you make your connection with god.
the second issue is the idea of equal rights for men and women, i hear regularly, people of older generations giving out and complaining about how young people no longer want to enter into the priesthood that there are a shortage of priests and that the older priests are now dying out. Then, I ask, why does the catholic church continually deny women from joining the priesthood, why do they continually reinforce the idea of chastity, of loneliness by maintaining the rule that priest cannot have sex or get married and have families. I think that a lot of young people who are still faithful and perhaps would like to join the priesthood will not do so because they do not want to live a life of loneliness, they do not want to give up their right to have children, to have love, to share their lives. Younger generations would be far more likely to commit themselves to the catholic religion (if they were that way inclined), if they could share their lives with someone that they love. I also think that this would help reduce the amount of child abuse within the church also.
I have hope that one day these things will change within the church and that the powers that be will realise that by maintaining their archaic values and old fashioned ideals they are preventing the very thing they want, to have more people, in particular younger generations, come back to the church and back to their faith.
For now we will just have to watch nd see what this new pope will do and hope that the realms of politics and religion do not overlap as a step back into the past is not something that any of us want.
D.M
I am not a religious person whatsoever and I really have little regard for the pope and his duties and I find the church to be an antiquated institution that shot itself in the foot by maintaining its archaic ideals and ridiculous social expectations and limitations alike.
Having said that I respect the choice of people to believe in the church and to have faith in its powers and in the power of their faith also. I also appreciate their hope and the ideas that they have expressed about wanting to rejuvenate the church and bring the younger generations back to their faith. Although a respect these ideas and hopes I must say that I also find them very naive. Nowadays it is difficult to get younger generations to be passionate about one topic in particular, it is also difficult to preach to a generation which has been brought up differently, who have more freedom than ever before, more access to the world and more possibilities than ever before.
I am going t talk about two areas in particular, the first the idea of gay-marriage and the church's negative stance on the matter.
Speaking from the point of view of a lesbian woman in her twenties I am obviously a little more than biased, however I think it is fair to say that the majority of young people that I know have family members, best friends, co-workers who are gay and who they care about a lot. I find it hard t believe that the church, even with its best efforts could persuade a generation , where the ideas of self - expression, freedom of speech, freedom to think, freedom to just be are so plentiful, that an institution with a reputation as tarred as that of the catholic church to come back to a religion that goes against the ideas that have developed. The church is effectively asking people to take a step backwards to forget about human rights and equality no matter what your sex and go back in time to a place where these things where forbidden, where society was on lock-down, they are asking that the struggles of thousands be forgotten and cast back into a dark space in the corner of your mind as you make your connection with god.
the second issue is the idea of equal rights for men and women, i hear regularly, people of older generations giving out and complaining about how young people no longer want to enter into the priesthood that there are a shortage of priests and that the older priests are now dying out. Then, I ask, why does the catholic church continually deny women from joining the priesthood, why do they continually reinforce the idea of chastity, of loneliness by maintaining the rule that priest cannot have sex or get married and have families. I think that a lot of young people who are still faithful and perhaps would like to join the priesthood will not do so because they do not want to live a life of loneliness, they do not want to give up their right to have children, to have love, to share their lives. Younger generations would be far more likely to commit themselves to the catholic religion (if they were that way inclined), if they could share their lives with someone that they love. I also think that this would help reduce the amount of child abuse within the church also.
I have hope that one day these things will change within the church and that the powers that be will realise that by maintaining their archaic values and old fashioned ideals they are preventing the very thing they want, to have more people, in particular younger generations, come back to the church and back to their faith.
For now we will just have to watch nd see what this new pope will do and hope that the realms of politics and religion do not overlap as a step back into the past is not something that any of us want.
D.M
Saturday 9 March 2013
'I am woman hear me roar!!!!'
As a tribute to all of my fellow women out there on this International Women's Day I thought I would post a few inspirational quotes from some the finest women of our times, enjoy!!!
Women have always been the strong ones of the world. The men are always seeking from women a little pillow to put their heads down on. They are always longing for the mother who held them as infants. - Coco Chanel
After all those years as a woman hearing 'not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,' almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, 'I'm enough.' - Anna Quindlen
“For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.” ― Virginia Woolf
“In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.”
― Margaret Thatcher
“There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.”
― Audrey Hepburn
“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it.”
― Yves Saint-Laurent
“The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?”
― Sigmund Freud
D.M
Women have always been the strong ones of the world. The men are always seeking from women a little pillow to put their heads down on. They are always longing for the mother who held them as infants. - Coco Chanel
After all those years as a woman hearing 'not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,' almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, 'I'm enough.' - Anna Quindlen
“For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.” ― Virginia Woolf
“In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.”
― Margaret Thatcher
“There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.”
― Audrey Hepburn
“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it.”
― Yves Saint-Laurent
“The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?”
― Sigmund Freud
D.M
Wednesday 27 February 2013
Video killed the radio star!
Have you ever had one of the moments where you are wandering around listening to music on your ipod/mp3 and suddenly a really epic song comes on and suddenly your imagination kicks in?
I had one of those moments on Monday as I was driving to work. The road which takes me to work is kind of outside the city, it is sort of abandoned and the sun is always shining, there are a lot of empty fields and with the windows rolled down and music on you could really be driving anywhere.
anyway, the song 'Atomic' by Blondie came on as I was driving, I had not heard that song in so long and it always reminds me of my brother (long story). Suddenly I was driving a cute little vintage convertible (red) with the roof down and my hair flowing in the wind (an impossible task). My life has become a video set and I was the star! The music kept playing and I started to sing along, after-all there was nobody around to see me, and I was making my very own music video. Once the song had finished I was transported back to the real world and I continued driving very happy with my 3 or 4 minuet video shoot. If only it had really been recorded, that would have been amazing....
D.M
I had one of those moments on Monday as I was driving to work. The road which takes me to work is kind of outside the city, it is sort of abandoned and the sun is always shining, there are a lot of empty fields and with the windows rolled down and music on you could really be driving anywhere.
anyway, the song 'Atomic' by Blondie came on as I was driving, I had not heard that song in so long and it always reminds me of my brother (long story). Suddenly I was driving a cute little vintage convertible (red) with the roof down and my hair flowing in the wind (an impossible task). My life has become a video set and I was the star! The music kept playing and I started to sing along, after-all there was nobody around to see me, and I was making my very own music video. Once the song had finished I was transported back to the real world and I continued driving very happy with my 3 or 4 minuet video shoot. If only it had really been recorded, that would have been amazing....
D.M
Born with a silver spoons in their mouths...
For the past two years I have been working in a private school in the city. Last year I had only nine students who were all very dedicated and down to earth, the worked hard and were interested in learning. This year I have two groups of students each group with fifteen students. One of my groups who are 7th graders are pretty much impossible to deal with. For the best six months I have been battling against them and I have yet to win the fight!
I was watching today as they were sitting their exams for this bimonthly period and I began to wonder why it is these particular children turned out the way they did. I have often heard the phrase 'born with a silver spoon in the mouth' but I have never really met people who truly demonstrated its meaning.
At this moment in time in this country it is obligatory to give a child a passing grade of 6 in their exams, in primary schools you CANNOT fail a student and in the school where I work this rule applies in secondary school too. As a result I have a bunch of students who have the most basic level of English taking a course which is made for students with a higher intermediate level. The majority of these students cannot even present themselves in English, still struggling with the difference between 'Tengo (I have) 12 años' and 'I am 12 years old'. However, I am given the books and told to teach them and at the end of the bimonthly period instructed to give failing students a 6.
These children do not listen to any authority figure and when told to be quiet they continue talking ignoring completely the person who is talking to them. This brought me to the question, why are so many children nowadays like this? When I was in school and I was told to be quiet I shut my mouth and stayed quiet for the remainder of the class, if not the day because I understood that in school when a teacher gave out to you, told you to be quiet or do something you did it and respected what the teacher was telling you. i also remember clearly that when this happened it was normal to avoid eye contact with the teacher because you felt ashamed. These children do the complete opposite. Fore example, yesterday having told one of the boys to take out his book and study he sat with the book closed on his desk talking to his friend across the room, when I started to stare at him he merely stared back at me until I finally won our little staring competition. When the contest was over I asked him to open his book and he did not move, i proceeded to inform him that unless he has x-ray vision it would be very to study the contents of a closed book. At this point he opened his book and continued talking to his friend as if nothing had happened, needless to say today when he took his exam he failed, not that it makes much difference because his parent will just pay extra for him to continue on tho the next grade of junior high.
It makes me sad and it makes me angry to see that education has become something which can be bought and that young people today who have the funds to pay for their education lack any type of motivation to do well in school. They do not take pride in their education as generations before them did and I think it is a shame that one of the most precious things in this world is being wasted on children like these.
Rant over :)
D.M
I was watching today as they were sitting their exams for this bimonthly period and I began to wonder why it is these particular children turned out the way they did. I have often heard the phrase 'born with a silver spoon in the mouth' but I have never really met people who truly demonstrated its meaning.
At this moment in time in this country it is obligatory to give a child a passing grade of 6 in their exams, in primary schools you CANNOT fail a student and in the school where I work this rule applies in secondary school too. As a result I have a bunch of students who have the most basic level of English taking a course which is made for students with a higher intermediate level. The majority of these students cannot even present themselves in English, still struggling with the difference between 'Tengo (I have) 12 años' and 'I am 12 years old'. However, I am given the books and told to teach them and at the end of the bimonthly period instructed to give failing students a 6.
These children do not listen to any authority figure and when told to be quiet they continue talking ignoring completely the person who is talking to them. This brought me to the question, why are so many children nowadays like this? When I was in school and I was told to be quiet I shut my mouth and stayed quiet for the remainder of the class, if not the day because I understood that in school when a teacher gave out to you, told you to be quiet or do something you did it and respected what the teacher was telling you. i also remember clearly that when this happened it was normal to avoid eye contact with the teacher because you felt ashamed. These children do the complete opposite. Fore example, yesterday having told one of the boys to take out his book and study he sat with the book closed on his desk talking to his friend across the room, when I started to stare at him he merely stared back at me until I finally won our little staring competition. When the contest was over I asked him to open his book and he did not move, i proceeded to inform him that unless he has x-ray vision it would be very to study the contents of a closed book. At this point he opened his book and continued talking to his friend as if nothing had happened, needless to say today when he took his exam he failed, not that it makes much difference because his parent will just pay extra for him to continue on tho the next grade of junior high.
It makes me sad and it makes me angry to see that education has become something which can be bought and that young people today who have the funds to pay for their education lack any type of motivation to do well in school. They do not take pride in their education as generations before them did and I think it is a shame that one of the most precious things in this world is being wasted on children like these.
Rant over :)
D.M
Thursday 24 January 2013
The Perks of Being a Watcher
In the whirlwind that was Christmas and getting home to see my family I totally neglected the poor blog.
Now three weeks back to the working routine again I thought it was time to re-enter the blogoshpere and see if my fingers had something interesting to type!
I was reading through an old-ish post last week 'The Perks of Being a Reader,'perhaps it might be a good idea to write a post-viewing opinion to follow on from the pre-viewing one.
While as was at home over the Christmas season we decided one night to pluck up the courage to watch the movie and see for once and for all what it was really like and how it compared to our pre-viewing judgments.
The movie has not been playing for even a minute and we had to make a pact to stay quiet and not be bitchy until we had seen it all. This was not an easy past to conform to!
As the movie played and we were introduced to the characters it was fair to say that my opinion of the casting choice did not become any less doubtful. However, I must admit that the cast members did grow on me in a strange way.
Towards the middle of the movie I had to switch off any images I had of the book and almost disassociate it with the book completely as I was slightly bothered y the fact that some things were not portrayed as they should have been, by the fact that Patrick was not like he should have been and that one of the most important parts of the book (Michael's suicide) was totally forgotten about excepting a quick comment which was not nearly sufficient.
Once I turned off the automatic comparison which was happening in my mind I found myself enjoying the movie much more. At the end I was captivated and very much involved in the story-line, the moment of truth came when I turned back on the automatic comparison and start to discuss the movie with J in a vary detailed fashion.
If you were to compare the movie to the book I might be able to give it a very generous six out of ten. However, if you were judging it purely on its merits as a movie then an eight and a half out of ten could have possibly been reasonable.
It is my opinion that people who had already read the book would have been bitterly disappointed at some of the things which were not portrayed as they should have been. People who had never read the book and had that alternative state of mind would have enjoyed it for its quirky oddities and unique characters (not as unique as in the book mind you!) and the people who had never read the book and did not have that type of mindset would have walked out the cinema nodding their heads and agreeing 'that wasn't bad...'
Perhaps I am being very harsh but that is what I feel that reactions would have been, or should have been.
Having said all of that I did enjoy the movie and I would recommend it to people that I know would appreciate it for its magic and beauty.
My fears of it becoming a teen sensation have subsided since the viewing and I think it is safe to say that Charlie and his letters will remain a treasure with rights reserved for those who have the disposition required to love and appreciate 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' in all its beauty.
D. Mount
Now three weeks back to the working routine again I thought it was time to re-enter the blogoshpere and see if my fingers had something interesting to type!
I was reading through an old-ish post last week 'The Perks of Being a Reader,'perhaps it might be a good idea to write a post-viewing opinion to follow on from the pre-viewing one.
While as was at home over the Christmas season we decided one night to pluck up the courage to watch the movie and see for once and for all what it was really like and how it compared to our pre-viewing judgments.
The movie has not been playing for even a minute and we had to make a pact to stay quiet and not be bitchy until we had seen it all. This was not an easy past to conform to!
As the movie played and we were introduced to the characters it was fair to say that my opinion of the casting choice did not become any less doubtful. However, I must admit that the cast members did grow on me in a strange way.
Towards the middle of the movie I had to switch off any images I had of the book and almost disassociate it with the book completely as I was slightly bothered y the fact that some things were not portrayed as they should have been, by the fact that Patrick was not like he should have been and that one of the most important parts of the book (Michael's suicide) was totally forgotten about excepting a quick comment which was not nearly sufficient.
Once I turned off the automatic comparison which was happening in my mind I found myself enjoying the movie much more. At the end I was captivated and very much involved in the story-line, the moment of truth came when I turned back on the automatic comparison and start to discuss the movie with J in a vary detailed fashion.
If you were to compare the movie to the book I might be able to give it a very generous six out of ten. However, if you were judging it purely on its merits as a movie then an eight and a half out of ten could have possibly been reasonable.
It is my opinion that people who had already read the book would have been bitterly disappointed at some of the things which were not portrayed as they should have been. People who had never read the book and had that alternative state of mind would have enjoyed it for its quirky oddities and unique characters (not as unique as in the book mind you!) and the people who had never read the book and did not have that type of mindset would have walked out the cinema nodding their heads and agreeing 'that wasn't bad...'
Perhaps I am being very harsh but that is what I feel that reactions would have been, or should have been.
Having said all of that I did enjoy the movie and I would recommend it to people that I know would appreciate it for its magic and beauty.
My fears of it becoming a teen sensation have subsided since the viewing and I think it is safe to say that Charlie and his letters will remain a treasure with rights reserved for those who have the disposition required to love and appreciate 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' in all its beauty.
D. Mount
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