Born with a silver spoons in their mouths...

For the past two years I have been working in a private school in the city.  Last year I had only nine students who were all very dedicated and down to earth, the worked hard and were interested in learning. This year I have two groups of students each group with fifteen students. One of my groups who are 7th graders are pretty much impossible to deal with. For the best six months I have been battling against them and I have yet to win the fight!
I was watching today as they were sitting their exams for this bimonthly period and I began to wonder why it is these particular children turned out the way they did. I have often heard the phrase 'born with a silver spoon in the mouth' but I have never really met people who truly demonstrated its meaning.
At this moment in time in this country it is obligatory to give a child a passing grade of 6 in their exams, in primary schools you CANNOT fail a student and in the school where I work this rule applies in secondary school too. As a result I have a bunch of students who have the most basic level of English taking a course which is made for students with a higher intermediate level. The majority of these students cannot even present themselves in English, still struggling with the difference between 'Tengo (I have) 12 años' and 'I am 12 years old'. However, I am given the books and told to teach them and at the end of the bimonthly period instructed to give failing students a 6.
These children do not listen to any authority figure and when told to be quiet they continue talking ignoring completely the person who is talking to them. This brought me to the question, why are so many children nowadays like this? When I was in school and I was told to be quiet I shut my mouth and stayed quiet for the remainder of the class, if not the day because I understood that in school when a teacher gave out to you, told you to be quiet or do something you did it and respected what the teacher was telling you. i also remember clearly that when this happened it was normal to avoid eye contact with the teacher because you felt ashamed. These children do the complete opposite. Fore example, yesterday having told one of the boys to take out his book and study he sat with the book closed on his desk talking to his friend across the room, when I started to stare at him he merely stared back at me until I finally won our little staring competition. When the contest was over I asked him to open his book and he did not move, i proceeded to inform him that unless he has x-ray vision it would be very to study the contents of a closed book. At this point he opened his book and continued talking to his friend as if nothing had happened, needless to say today when he took his exam he failed, not that it makes much difference because his parent will just pay extra for him to continue on tho the next grade of junior high.
It makes me sad and it makes me angry to see that education has become something which can be bought and that young people today who have the funds to pay for their education lack any type of motivation to do well in school. They do not take pride in their education as generations before them did and I think it is a shame that one of the most precious things in this world is being wasted on children like these.

Rant over :)

D.M

The Perks of Being a Watcher

In the whirlwind that was Christmas and getting home to see my family I totally neglected the poor blog.
Now three weeks back to the working routine again I thought it was time to re-enter the blogoshpere and see if my fingers had something interesting to type!
I was reading through an old-ish post last week 'The Perks of Being a Reader,'perhaps it might be a good idea to write a post-viewing opinion to follow on from the pre-viewing one.
While as was at home over the Christmas season we decided one night to pluck up the courage to watch the movie and see for once and for all what it was really like and how it compared to our pre-viewing judgments.
The movie has not been playing for even a minute and we had to make a pact to stay quiet and not be bitchy until we had seen it all. This was not an easy past to conform to!
As the movie played and we were introduced to the characters it was fair to say that my opinion of the casting choice did not become any less doubtful. However, I must admit that the cast members did grow on me in a strange way.
Towards the middle of the movie I had to switch off any images I had of the book and almost disassociate it with the book completely as I was slightly bothered y the fact that some things were not portrayed as they should have been, by the fact that Patrick was not like he should have been and that one of the most important parts of the book (Michael's suicide) was totally forgotten about excepting a quick comment which was not nearly sufficient.
Once I turned off the automatic comparison which was happening in my mind I found myself enjoying the movie much more. At the end I was captivated and very much involved in the story-line, the moment of truth came when I turned back on the automatic comparison and start to discuss the movie with J in a vary detailed fashion.
If you were to compare the movie to the book I might be able to give it a very generous six out of ten. However, if you were judging it purely on its merits as a movie then an eight and a half out of ten could have possibly been reasonable.
It is my opinion that people who had already read the book would have been bitterly disappointed at some of the things which were not portrayed as they should have been. People who had never read the book and had that alternative state of mind would have enjoyed it for its quirky oddities and unique characters (not as unique as in the book mind you!) and the people who had never read the book and did not have that type of mindset would have walked out the cinema nodding their heads and agreeing 'that wasn't bad...'
Perhaps I am being very harsh but that is what I feel that reactions would have been, or should have been.
Having said all of that I did enjoy the movie and I would recommend it to people that I know would appreciate it for its magic and beauty.
My fears of it becoming a teen sensation have subsided since the viewing and I think it is safe to say that Charlie and his letters will remain a treasure with rights reserved for those who have the disposition required to love and appreciate 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' in all its beauty.

D. Mount

Everybody's Gay....

Today with my 14 year old students I had a rather strange conversation.
I was helping my students with a physics project that they are doing and one of the girls suddenly blurted out 'everybody is gay,' I laughed feeling immediately awkward as none of my student know I am gay and we began to talk about this topic.
She began to tell me that, in her opinion, everybody has to pass through this 'gay stage' of life and that at some point we will all pass through the 'gay station' never actually buying a ticket for the gay train!
I was suprised by her attitude as in this society, the one in which she has been raised, homosexuality is not something that is openly expressed or readily accepted.
We continued with this conversation and the three students involved in the conversation were all very open minded and willing to admit that yes, they are aware of the fact that they will probably pass through a 'gay phase.'
They all seemed terribly surprised when I told them that about ten percent of the population are gay and that in the classroom there had to be at least one gay person.
I then saw the other side of this open minded coin when another student who for me stands out as being a lesbian, aggressively responded that she was not gay and would never pass through that stage in her life.
I began to wonder if these conversations make her nervous because she is terrified of being discovered or because she still has not accepted the fact that she is gay.
When I was that age I knew that I had feelings for the same sex, however, I tried my hardest to fit in and did all the appropriate things for a teenage girl my age, there was no way you could have known that I was gay.
With the re-election of Obama in the States and the hope that inspired for women and the idea of equal rights for all, I was filled with hope because I hope that one day kids who are gay or lesbian or are bisexual and are confused, can feel free to accept themselves and be open about how they are instead of trying desperately to hid themselves constantly.
I also wonder if this type of world in which everybody is free and equal will ever exist?
We have made many developments but we also seem to have taken many steps backwards.
I also wonder how a free world would be?
If we were all open and all the taboos, stigmas and labels were erased how would we all co-exist?
Would it be the same or would the idea of individuality be lessened to the point where we were all just the same?
So many questions and so few answers, but I will watch and see how it all works out from my permanent seat on the Gay Train.

D.Mount

A little post of nothing

One month and two weeks, six weeks, forty two days, one thousand and eight hours, sixty-thousand, four hundred and eight minutes, three million, six hundred and twenty eight thousand, eight hundred seconds.

That is the amount of time until I see my family for the first time in one year, five months and ten days.

  

The emotions: excitement, nervousness, happiness, impatience.

'There's no place like home'

D.M

The Perks of Being a Reader

Being an original Perks of Being a Wallflower fan, I am naturally waiting with baited breath to see the movie which has yet be released in Mexico. I have been tempted so many times to watch it online just to tame the curiosity which rages inside but every time I have held back the urges and decided to wait to go and see it on the big screen.

I have, however, watched the trailer a couple of times, read interviews with the director (author) and cast, seen the images and heard all the gossips and excited talk which surround this must awaited for release.

I first read about charlie and his peculiar ways in 2009 when my girlfriend gave it to me for Christmas, two months after we started going out. She gave it to me and I instantly did the unthinkable and judged it by its cover. I lime green, battered cover which was worn having been handed from reader to reader, a faint stain made by a cup or glass graced the first page and I was captivated instantly. I love my books to be in good condition but I also love to have a book that looks like it has lived the experiences that it is going to introduce you to and 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' did just that. I read the first page which was dedicated to me, with love and hope that this book would change my life as it had changed my girlfriends.

I began to read it that same day and I read all night and into the early hours of the morning finishing the book and thinking 'WOW'. I instantly clicked with the character of Charlie, the experiences that he lived, the type of people he was surrounded by, the unrequited love, and all the problems that are associated with being a misfit trying to deal with the horrors of teenage life.

I read the book twice more as I flew home from Mexico on New Years eve and found something new each time. When I returned home I slept with the book under my pillow, brought it with me everywhere I went, and read it 4 more times as I wandered through the university campus feeling a little bit lost.

Charlie, Sam and Patrick accompanied everywhere I went. I spent a lot of time thinking about how our teenage years affect us and how they have the potential to shape us into the adults we are.
Now, as the movie is set to be released I wonder if this epic novel of our times will become nothing more than a movie to replace Juno as the top alternative film of recent years. If Charlie will become the new Edward Cullen as the  teenage heart throb and if Sam will now become more than just that sensitive girl who guided Charlie through so many experiences.

From what I have seen of the trailers Charlie is not the awkward soul I imagined him to me and Patrick is way too openly gay. This novel was an epic tale for all the 'Patricks' in the world, the gay boys dating the most popular jocks and hiding themselves so cleverly and suffering every stop of the way.

Perhaps I am being far too judgmental, considering the fact that I have not yet seen the movie, but this book is a treasure I hold close to my heart and I worry for its safety and well-being as it is released to the general public to be turned into 'just another teen movie'

I feel pretty and witty and gay!

The pressure has finally landed on my shoulders. The pressure I did not think would land. Having taught in the seem school for a year, achieving goo results with my students I am now drowning in a sea of ridiculous rules, expectations and struggling against the tide of the most ridiculous educational system I have ever seen.

Bringing in this new system was supposed to be innovative but when you have a group of twelve year old who can barely say the names of the body parts correctly it is a little bit difficult to teach them literature, critical analysis, independent thinking, science, geography and biology through English.

This marvelous cocktail mixed with a dash of homesickness is doing wonders for my mood, as you can imagine, today is only Monday and I am already counting down to Friday.

The worst thing is and possibly this most effective evidence of my loathing for the system is that on Saturday I will be having surgery to remove a wisdom tooth. When a school system and work load cause a dental extraction to be the highlight of your weekend, there may be something wrong!

On the other hand I have students in another school are fantastic, attentive, interested, fluent in English and willing and wanting to learn, they brighten my day and make me laugh even when the idea of laughing or smiling does not appeal to me!

I am also so fortunate to have the love of my life by my side, healthy, happy and always supporting me and helping me work, inspiring me to do my best even though it may be tough some times. 

Without this gorgeous girl I would be lost. Just like I was 3 years ago before I met her.

I have also been thinking a lot about how accepting the people in a work place would be if they new that my co-worker and I were gay? I read some true life stories on line, I have seen how accepting my girlfriends work place have been but still I wonder whether or not they would be so accepting where I work?

Today one of my students asked if I was available, I told her 'No', she proceeded to ask if I was in a relationship, I replied 'Yes', naturally in a classroom of gossipy girls the questions started and all I wanted to do was scream HER name is J, she is the love of my life and she is the most beautiful person in this world!

I had a similar experience later that day with my other students who wanted to know what is my type, of course they meant what type of boys, or should I say men, I always answer that I have no type. Today they asked who is your favourite artist...physically, I felt it would be inappropriate to say Pink and reveal my true rainbow colours so I said nothing.

Anyway this begs the question, how accepting are people of gay co-workers?

D.M

Carpe Diem

Death is something which will touch us all at some point in our lives. Death at any age is a difficult concept to grasp and is the most terrifying thing in the world for the majority of us. Life is precious and many of us take it for granted. However, when a tragic event such as the death of a young person occurs we are instantly hurled into a whirlwind of feelings and thoughts. 

When we hear about the death of a young person or we lose a young person close to us it seems to provide us with a thirst for life, to enjoy the many experience which life holds, to see all the wonders this earth has to offer, to be the best we can achieve and to somehow live life to the fullest. I have come to find that death has this effect on us for two reasons; the first is that we desperately want to experience everything because the death of a young person makes us realise that nobody is beyond the cold, hard grasp of death's hand, the second is that we feel a sort of responsibility to live all of the experiences that our fellow  young adult has been denied because of the ominous death. 

Death also makes us appreciate our family and friends so much more also. We can often take them for granted and do not realise how important they are until we see another family cry for a loved one who has passed away, This feeling is never more terrifying than when you are a young person because you are still so close to your parents, often when a young person dies they are still living with their parents and seeing a mother cry for her lost child is a feeling which we instantly project onto our own mothers further intensifying our sensitivity to this tragic event. 

I did not write this to be morbid or indeed to point out all the sadness which goes hand in hand with death but merely to express the feelings of many many young hearts in my home town where two young lives were taken far before their time this weekend. 

Life is beautiful and we should enjoy to the full as much as we can, the sadness and other such emotions when will accompany us on our path through life will try to taint this beauty but in its attempt will further fuel us to make the most of everyday, every experience, and most importantly our family and friends.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

D.M